Always Logging It

 I have worn some type of fitness tracker for years: FitBit, Apple Watch, and now a Garmin Venu.  I love them, I love knowing how far the dogs and I have walked, how many steps I've gotten in, the elevation change on a hike, and how many calories I've burned.  I also went through a MyFitness Pal tracking stage where I logged my food.  I enjoy a planner and making To-Do lists and crossing them off.  You name it, I've probably logged it!

My goodness logging everything is exhausting!!

 My Type A personality thrives on logging things, making lists, and checking things off.  I like to know where I'm at with getting things done, movement, mileage, food, exercise, the whole kit and kaboodle.  But every once and a while, I do something completely drastic and STOP LOGGING EVERYTHING!

That's right, I go cold turkey and stop it all.  I take off the watch and power it down, I delete MyFitnessPal, and I use only one planner/notebook for making lists (this one is the hardest due to my schedule, school stuff, and my husband's ever-changing work schedule) and I stop using an exercise plan.

Do you know what that does?  To be honest, it gives me a crazy amount of anxiety for the first day or so; I know, not the reaction you were expecting.  But it's the truth, I am routine-oriented and thrive in my structure, and stopping some or all of the above things is very intense.  But, it does get better!  

Breaking the lines of dependency with my logging apps/devices allows me to have a bit more freedom: I exercise how I want and it depends on what feels good, I allow food to be something that's good versus something that always needs to be tracked and monitored, and I live more in the moment then what is next on the list for me to get accomplished.

Taking a break from logging all of our data is good once and a while, it allows us to reset and take a breath.  If logging all of your data starts to stress you out instead of making you feel good, it is time to put it on the shelf for a minute and breathe.  It isn't easy (hello anxiety moments), but I know it's better for me in the long run if I take a step back, and readjust.

What do you do to unplug and reset?

"F" is Not Failure

My favorite Peloton instructor, Robin Arzon, posted on her Instagram account about failing at a task she had been visualizing and training for and how she was striving to find the faith within the failure (see her IG post here).  

That really struck me because for as long as I can remember, an "F" always equated to failure: grades, losing a game, not measuring up, etc.  And sometimes, it really is that simple: the other team outscored you and you lost; you missed more questions on a test than you answered correctly.  These are very concrete examples of how sometimes, failing is failing.

But what struck me, is how sometimes failing is NOT failing.  You try something new and it doesn't go your way, did you fail?  Maybe in the simplistic meaning of the word, but didn't you also learn something?  Thomas Edison really hit the nail on the head when he said he didn't fail, he found thousands of ways to not make a lightbulb.  That is really powerful when you stop and think about it!

Sometimes we base our self-worth on how quickly we can master a new skill or achieve a goal, and if we don't measure up in the time allotted, we failed.  Instead of giving ourselves an "F" as in failure, maybe we give ourselves an "F' as in fortitude; we just continue to practice and learn.  

Give yourself the opportunity to redefine your "F" into Faith in yourself, Fortitude in your drive, and Fearlessness in pursuit of your dreams/hobbies.

How do you define your "F"?

What's a Boundary?

I think one of the benefits of my rule-following ways is that when I come across a boundary, I usually respect it pretty automatically.  I respect a person's personal space (physically and metaphorically) and genuinely want what they want.  Boundaries are good, it's good to say "no" once and a while and be confident in your decision to do so.

However, that being said, I am really really bad at setting boundaries for myself.  I think this has to do with me being a people pleaser and a desire to make others happy.  I always end up saying "yes"...yes I will volunteer for that, yes I will take on that extra duty, yes I will help you with whatever....yes, yes, yes.  Most of the time, I really like to roll that way, I love volunteering, I love baking/cooking something for an event, I love helping friends, etc.  

My problem is that I will "yes" my way right into feelings of exhaustion.  I ignore the warning signs and instead pay attention to the feelings of guilt I have if I start to even think about saying no and BAM! Hello feelings of being overwhelmed, exhausted, and the need to hermit and hide from the world.

Does this sound like you too?

What I have been trying to do lately, is when a situation comes up and I feel the automatic urge to just say yes, I think about what advice would I give to a friend?  Would I encourage them to say yes, or would I encourage them to say no?  I have also come to the conclusion that saying "no" is not always a negative thing, sometimes you just need more of your own time rather than the hobby/person/thing you are about to commit to.

What are some ways you enact boundaries?  I am always interested in knowing more!

Burnout: What is it?

Burnout, which is defined as an extreme form of stress, is characterized by “emotional fatigue, disengagement, irritability, and apathy related to the work environment” (Pendergast, et al., 2017).  Causes of burnout vary from person to person, but typically they can include pressure from an outside source (supervisors, friends, spouses/partners, children, etc.) as well as our own internal dialogue.   

 

Life is demanding, and many of us feel the need to meet all the demands always put on us.  We sacrifice ourselves for the greater good and demolish our own boundaries to achieve success in all areas of our lives.  The more we do this, the more our system begins to drain.  In my own personal experience, it was a trickle at first, so slight I barely noticed it and would just continue to push onward until suddenly it felt like running into a brick wall.  If you notice yourself more tired than normal after a usual day, patience running thin, and attitude shifts, you may be experiencing some of the warning signs of burnout.  

 

When these signs start becoming the new normal for you, it is good to stop and literally take a breath, breathe in and out.  Ask yourself what you must get done, what is good to get done, and what would be nice to get done; for example, getting dinner on the table is a must get done, and you must eat, however, going to a book club meeting is a nice to get done item. Once those categories are established, your to-do list becomes much more structured.  If you do not get all of the items on your “nice to get done” list, it is ok!  Give yourself permission to not be a superhero every single day.  Focus on what must get done and when you regain your balance, you can start adding those items from the “good to get done” and “nice to get done” lists slowly.

 

What do you do when you recognize the signs of burnout?

 

 

Ryan, S. V., von der Embse, N.P., Pendergast, L.L., Saeki, E., Segool, N., & Schwing, S. (2017).  Leaving the teaching profession: The role of teacher stress and educational accountability in policies on turnover intent.  Teaching and Teacher Education, 66, 1-11.

The Power of Creativity

Often times when you look into mindfulness, or meditation, you are brought to practices that require stillness and silence. This particular approach reflects ancient eastern philosophies that teach the mind to enter into a state of observance. This form of meditation, or stillness, is a very passive practice.

 

There is no doubt that this approach has helped many people find clarity, mental peace, and self-awareness. However, this passive approach can be difficult for some who are kinesthetic and active learners.

 

I am one of those people. I have tried sitting in silence and at times, it is exactly what I need to bring me back into a balanced state and a calm mind. But sometimes, I need a little more input to feel connected in a mindfulness practice.

 

So, on my quest to find an approach that “works for me,” I looked deeper into ways I can be more present to the moment. And I know that sounds cliche, but one thing I found that really helps me is exploring creativity.

 

Now, let me just address something quick about creativity….. whether you consider yourself a creative person or not, we all have creative skills and abilities that appear in some way. Because creativity isn’t always prioritized or encouraged due to misconceptions from society (starving artist or the music junkie), we may not see creativity as important within our day to day life. So, I invite you to remove any preconceptions you have about creativity and consider ways you are creative in your own way…

 

Anyway, things like dancing, singing, listening to music, making music, making art, painting, crafting, drawing, taking photos, and even cooking are all creative tasks that require mental attention. To me, creativity is an active “mindfulness” practice. Of course, there are several other things under the umbrella of “creativity” that can enhance mental presence and stillness (in fact, one could argue that creativity is involved with everything we do).

 

Regardless, participating in a creative hobby gives you the opportunity to shift your unnecessary worries, doubts, fears, and insecurities to the task at hand. The present moment. 

 

For me, it was actively learning and practicing a new art skill. I have always been artistic and I decided to learn how to draw mandalas. Now, mandalas themselves have been around for thousands of years. They have been utilized in ancient traditions for spiritual purposes as well as symbolism for unity, harmony, and infinity. (The world mandala means “circle” In Sanskrit). This seemed like something that would support my desire to more present-minded and at peace.

 

As I mentioned, I am artistic. But, I’m also a perfectionist and very detailed-oriented. So not only did this offer me a new art skill, it offered me the time and space to practice self-acceptance and non-attachment. Instead of getting hung up on a few mistakes, I offered myself compassion and compliments. Instead of planning what I wanted it to look like, I offered myself freedom and curiosity. 

 

Overtime, I realized that this “creative hobby” is a teacher in itself. It is an active practice where I am able to observe my reactions to simple mistakes, doubts, or judgments. It is the space for me to focus my mind on the process, rather than the outcome.

 

What I have learned through my creative exploration is that the mind is always trying to “conceptualize” things… and put meaning to everything. But, creative exploration lets the mind accept what is and move forward. Having a creative outlet or hobby can inspire growth in self-awareness, making you a more patient, present, and peaceful person.

 

And to me, that is what most of us are looking for when we seek out “mindfulness” or meditation. We are looking for ways to calm out mind to be more present and attentive to the things that matter to us. So, if traditional meditation or stillness isn’t your jam, don’t worry about it. Try considering an active approach by getting involved with a creative hobby where you can build mental presence and peace throughout the process.

 

Thank you, and Mahalo to my dear friend Brittany for this opportunity to write about the power of creativity for your wellbeing. 

About Molly:

Molly is an occupational therapist and wellness advocate, who strives to bring awareness to individuals on how they can live a more meaningful and enjoyable life. Molly is originally from Western New York but as worked as a therapist in North Caroline, Virginia, Texas, and Hawaii. However, after several years of working in a traditional health care model, Molly realized that something in her life was missing. Not only did she lack a purposeful connection, but her physical health was also compromised by her daily distress. So, she went on to study holistic wellness at the Institute of Integrative Nutrition. During this time, Molly had moved to Hawaii to focus on improving her overall wellbeing. Since then, she has found interest with yoga and is currently training to be a yoga instructor. Molly hopes her journey can inspire others to find a more balanced and creative approach to life, too. To learn more about Molly, you can email her directly at mollywillsonholistics@gmail.com or visit her Instagram page for a dose of inspiration and reflections at @Molly_lama_

It's All Contagious

One thing as a teacher (and those of you with children probably understand this too) I learned is that my attitude propelled what kind of mood my class was in.  If I was upset or edgy, they would take on some of that and the undercurrent of the class would be edgy.  If I was happy, they would get happy, if I was calm, they would calm down.  Even if they didn’t come into my class that way, my mood would usually encourage a similar one from them.

 

Moods are contagious, what we feel can be caught by the people we are around and likewise, we can catch the mood they are in as well.  In stressful situations, the first thing someone of authority usually says is “please remain calm” which always intrigued me.  I can just picture the captain of the Titanic making an announcement “Good evening everyone, we have just encountered an iceberg and I need you to calmly make your way to the lifeboats, there is no need for panic, please remain calm”.   Yeah right sir, we are all sinking and going to drown!

 

But if you think about it, when something stressful is happening, what do you tell your students? Kids? Coworkers? You tell them to calm down, it will all be fine.  That is because chaos is contagious, and it spreads like wildfire.  When we are in a chaotic state, our logical thinking process becomes overrun by emotion and the fight or flight instinct.

 

However, calmness is contagious too.  If we stay calm, our logical thinking has a chance to work, our emotional response becomes under control, and we are less motivated to act by instinct.  This is not easy, and I would never proclaim that it is, but in moments of stress, stop and think about what you want to be contagious: calm or chaos?

 

What do you do to encourage the calm versus the chaos?

 

Communication is Key

I like to think of myself as a Master Planner: I have a pretty good understanding of my husbands’ schedule (as ever-changing as it is), my schedule, our dogs’ needs, vacation schedules, etc.  When I make an action plan, I usually take everything into consideration, I try and look at it from all possible sides and like a box of 500 puzzle pieces, dump it out and try and make it work.  This was the case earlier this week.  I have a couple of opportunities for conferences abroad this year (one in the summer and one in the fall) as well as vacation goals as a family.  So, in true fashion, I dumped all the pieces out and went about sifting through them until I could find a way that we could experience all the events this summer/fall season and not have to sacrifice or miss much.

 

My husband is in and out of the field, so when he called that night, at 10pm, I couldn’t wait to tell him my brilliant plan that I was super proud of and have him remind me of what a great wife and human I am.  Well, that isn’t really what happened….at all.

 

Throughout our relationship, we have always communicated well (we learned to), and my husband relies on my ability to handle things when he is unavailable.  It works!  However, the thing I usually forget, is that sometimes my husband likes to be involved in the planning of things.  So, whereas I took his schedule into consideration when I made the Master Plan for our summer/fall, he likes to ask questions, give his input, and be involved.  

 

Not going to lie, I was a bit annoyed that he didn’t just hail my brilliance, and he was a bit annoyed that I was a bit annoyed with his questions.  Instead of continuing to grind our way through it, we tabled this talk: it was after 10pm and I am not at my best that late, and he would be home in a day or two and we could hash it out then.  Perfect.

 

When he got home, we did talk it out: we talked about how he is frustrated that I have these great conference opportunities and he isn’t sure he will be able to attend both and support me like he wants, we talked about how we want to do vacations and places we want to go, we talked about how I wanted him to be impressed with my plan, we talked about it all. 

 

So, what is the point of my story?  

 

Sometimes you need to know when to hit pause on a conversation if it will only end up in an argument and talk about it when you can be face-to-face and not be so emotionally attached to the subject of the discussion (for me it was my plan, for him it was his ever-changing schedule).  It is easy to argue, and sometimes it’s good to get it all out, but it can also be more beneficial to prevent the argument and revisit the topic when you can communicate effectively without the added emotion.

 

What are some ways you have learned to communicate with your spouse/partner?