I think one of the benefits of my rule-following ways is that when I come across a boundary, I usually respect it pretty automatically. I respect a person's personal space (physically and metaphorically) and genuinely want what they want. Boundaries are good, it's good to say "no" once and a while and be confident in your decision to do so.
However, that being said, I am really really bad at setting boundaries for myself. I think this has to do with me being a people pleaser and a desire to make others happy. I always end up saying "yes"...yes I will volunteer for that, yes I will take on that extra duty, yes I will help you with whatever....yes, yes, yes. Most of the time, I really like to roll that way, I love volunteering, I love baking/cooking something for an event, I love helping friends, etc.
My problem is that I will "yes" my way right into feelings of exhaustion. I ignore the warning signs and instead pay attention to the feelings of guilt I have if I start to even think about saying no and BAM! Hello feelings of being overwhelmed, exhausted, and the need to hermit and hide from the world.
Does this sound like you too?
What I have been trying to do lately, is when a situation comes up and I feel the automatic urge to just say yes, I think about what advice would I give to a friend? Would I encourage them to say yes, or would I encourage them to say no? I have also come to the conclusion that saying "no" is not always a negative thing, sometimes you just need more of your own time rather than the hobby/person/thing you are about to commit to.
What are some ways you enact boundaries? I am always interested in knowing more!
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