Talking is easy, we do it on the phone, via text, in person, on Zoom, on social media platforms…you name it, we chat about it in one form or another. But talking, texting, emailing, and posting is not necessarily the same as communicating. Yes, they are all forms of communication, but are they always effective uses of communication?
My husband and I have been together over nine years and in that timeframe, we have spent over 3.5 years apart due to his Army service. When he deployed the first time, it was a whole new experience for both of us: he was 9 hours ahead of me in time, he was in a combat zone, we had no idea what deploying really meant, and we were just green. We had the ability to talk on the phone only a handful of times on that deployment, the way we communicated the most was through Facebook Messenger (thank goodness for modern technology!). However, how easy is it to misinterpret tone on a text or email? For me, it was super easy! I attributed so many emotions to his messages it wasn’t even funny, and usually not the ones he was actually feeling. It was a learning experience for both of us in so many ways. I learned how to ask him questions such as “I am interpreting you sounding like this, is this how you meant it?” or “Can you clarify what you mean by that?”.
Communicating effectively seems so easy but can be a bit tricky when it comes to interpreting or misinterpreting emotions. Even when he is home, sometimes I double check to see if what I am hearing is actually how he means it and vice versa. When you are feeling like you’re not communicating effectively with someone, you get annoyed, stressed, and upset. Taking the time to check in and double check meanings can take some of that away and allow you to focus your energy on something else.
Does anyone have other ideas to help communicate effectively?
